Monday, January 31, 2011


A while ago I wrote a blog trying to work out if people married with children were happier than their single peers. According to this article:

I am WRONG. People with children are not happier. It is a very well written article, and if you have time you should read it if you are interested. After thinking about it for a few days I put into my own words what I think is true about the article on why people with children are not as happy as their single with no children friends. They are as follows:

Cultural Change. Previous generations did not have a choice in whether or not they would get married and have children. That is just what they did. In the 21st century our country changed from people were farmers and raised their children to be their helpers (children were assets) to people raising their children to be little scholars which requires riding their backs to do their homework, to be elite in the classroom and on sports teams. We require far more focus as parents on our children. We let them be children. We treat them as if they owe us nothing and we do every thing we can to help them get ahead. Generations before us were less focused on their children. They taught them to work, to help, and gave minimal attention to schooling. Each succeeding generation has been raised to be more and more selfish because their parents have made them more of the center of the universe. People are waiting to get married and have children so they can go to school. They have choice over if they marry, when, and who. They have choice over if they have children, when, how many. When they make the shift from single to married with children they go from being the most self-centered generation yet to being required to be the most child-focused parent generation yet. It is a mind-blowing change. When they are asked about their happiness they probably DO feel more depressed. They are more tired and less self-focused than ever before, and it is exhausting. They have forgotten the loneliness and insecurities they felt as a single person and romanticize their former happiness. I do hypothesize though, that parents may feel more moment to moment happiness and than their perceived overall happiness. Example: Many parents have many moments of delight with their children throughout their day. Their little baby smiling. Their toddler saying something adorable. Their older child playing a trick. It is forgotten when they think of sleepless nights, power plays and disobedience.

What do YOU think?