Dr. Visit

I took Ethan to the doctor last week for a check-up. My conversation with the nurse prior to seeing the doctor went something like this.

Nurse: Do you have any health concerns?

Me: Health concerns? Uh, I don't know if this is a health concern, but um, he has really terrible, horrible smelling gas. Its like, really bad. He could clear a room.

The nurse jots this down on her sheet.

Nurse: Is he eating well? Sleeping Well? Regular bowel movements? As in every few days?

Me: Regular bowel movements? He poops 3-5 times a day! Is that normal? Seems a little much to you too, yeah?

Nurse: No, that is normal.

Drats. I was hoping for a suggestion in how to change his diet for less poop.

Me: Well, about the eating well, I have to practically force feed him. He won't sit still to eat. I chase him around the house with food all day. Then he pulls it out of his mouth and throws it on the floor or hands it to the dog. As far as sleeping well, I can't say he is particularly found of sleep either. As in, he wakes up at night still a lot, and the longest he can go without a bottle at night is 6 hours.

Nurse: That is normal for his age. Most babies go for 6-10 hours. He is still in the normal range. Just feed him more high calorie foods to keep his weight up if you are concerned about him not eating enough.

Ha. If she only knew how hard I try to do that very thing.

Nurse: Do you have any other questions for the doctor that you would like me to write down to make sure she addresses it on this visit?

Me: Uh, no. I think other than the smelly gas, pooping all the friggin' time, not being able to get him to eat or sleep like other children should pretty much cover my concerns.

Nurse: Ok. The doctor will be in shortly.

I sigh. I look at my only-in-a-diaper-cutie and wonder how I am going to keep him from damaging expensive medical equipment during our interim period as I highly doubt she will be in "shortly."