Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Buying a House through the lense of Meyers-Briggs

I love the meyers-briggs as a personality sorter. I really think it is the most detailed, and accurate of all the personality tests. That is, if it is taken correctly, by a certified meyers-briggs test person who can thoroughly explain the questions, and the "real" tests (not the ones online) have better questions than the generic ones you can get for free. Ok, that being said, here is a look into our marriage and making a big decision with the meyers-briggs in mind.

I am an ISFP. An introverted, sensing, feeling, perceiver. "Quiet, serious, sensitive and kind. Do not like conflict, and not likely to do things which may generate conflict. Loyal and faithful. Extremely well-developed senses, and aesthetic appreciation for beauty. Not interested in leading or controlling others. Flexible and open-minded. Likely to be original and creative. Enjoy the present moment."

Nathan is an ENFJ. An extroverted, iNtuitive, feeling, judger."Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle, and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues, and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others, and probably place the needs of others over their own needs."

The meyers-briggs says, "Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFJ's natural partner is the INFP, or the ISFP. ENFJ's dominant function of Extraverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Feeling. An ENFJ and INFP are ideally matched, because they share the Intuitive way of looking at the world, but the ENFJ and ISFP are also a very good match."

I would agree wholeheartedly with this analysis. We are a very good match and what gets in the way of harmony often is the S/N difference. Often we will say something and the other person interprets it different than the original intention.

In the decision making function, we are both Fs. This means that we both make decisions based on values. Ex. We value time together so Nathan decided not to offer to do contract work for the job he had (advantor) while simultaneously doing the new job he just started (liberty mutual). Logically, it would have made sense. We could have had more money. He could have left his job on a note where they didn't feel abandoned after having him quit after a month. Ultimately, our time together matters more.

On occasion one of us becomes more objective and logical in making decisions (the role of a "t"). In deciding on housing, I became the "t". My father gave this advice (and my father is an ISTJ)

I think new construction should be one of your options as you do your market research. There is something to be said for knowing all the major housing components were recently completed under the newer building codes implemented a few years after Andrew. That does not mean an older home is not well built or worth considering, you just want to gather all the information and research all options before making a major decision. Newer construction can sometimes be cheaper because you will not be replacing AC units, hot water tanks, etc. for several years. Newer construction can hold a higher resale value.

As far as commutes, you have to figure how many times a week you drive to work and how many times a week you visit your downtown friends. Weigh that against the community, the schools, resale, etc. and make your decision. You have a 1 year old and one on the way. Your friends will end up being people who are at the same life stage as you are. Especially when you are a family of 4 with two toddlers. No one else will be able to relate to you. Just the other people in the same boat. All three communities look acceptable to me, Lake Mary, Altamonte or Longwood. Look for some other young families. A more upscale "professional type" area will probably have people you can relate to. The other property owners will be school teachers, nurses, law enforcement, sales people, small business owners, etc.

Most likely, as you continue to research the market, one option will stand out from the others and that's usually the one that is meant to be your home. Things will tend to "fall in place" like they did to allow you to return to Florida. Don't rush the process and do your homework. You will find something that fits.


Such good advice. So logical. I actually agreed with every thing he said. Nathan thought it was good advice too, but in the end, he made the decision by being true to his "f" self. He liked the house that made him feel at home. The one with an amazing back yard that made him happy. I liked the house too. Don't get me wrong. It isn't every thing I wanted, but it really is a great house. I am sure we will be very happy there.

Even though I vowed that I would be the one to pick the house because it is my domain, my office, if you will, I ended up doing what an ISFP does.

"They are very private people, who keep their true feelings and opinions reserved or hidden from others. This may cause them to constantly defer to their mates in their intimate relationships, which may cause problems if their mates are not extremely aware of the ISFP's feelings."

Good thing he knows my feelings.

Oh, and I am pretty sure that the owner of the house is not going to heaven. We gave them the full asking price, and requested that they leave the refrigerator, and hot tub, and to pay $7K of the closing cost. They counter-offered to pay $5k of closing costs and no, we could not have the fridge and hot-tub. You know that verse in the bible about if someone asks you for bread, give him your coat too? They so didn't do that. Going to hell for sure.

Kidding! But seriously, I am sad because I had big plans for that hot-tub involving my husband. Godly desires and plans of course.

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